Before I saw your comment on the previous post I wrote this......


I think I have blown it - ~M has not appeared.

The article I read said:
“The trade-off between privacy and emotional closeness is not so dominant in online relationships mainly because of the greater ability to conceal private information and the decreased vulnerability of the participants”.

That may be the case with other people but not me…. I’m so vulnerable to rejection…

Now, where did that come from?

Yes, I do feel very vulnerable – it’s as though I can’t function normally without this approval. How can I be giving away such control over my very being without even realizing it?

“Online communication enables people to continue with their regular schedule and engage in their online relationships only when it is least intrusive”.

Is she teasing me…….


Why do I care so much?

I have to go back and read her special message to me – the really exciting and most scary bit is:

“of unique interest”

I don’t need exclusivity – I just want to be……………..

What do I want…………..

Permission?

To do what…………

To be told what to do…………… Is that really it……………..

I’ll have to think about that …………….

It might be the answer as I’m getting more aroused.
It gets to a plateau and evens off – Now, I’m shaking so much its like being cold but I’m the opposite inside – trembling – that’s the word. Both physically and mentally, quivering – I’m also doing that.

If I get permission……. She’ll tell me what to do……

What if……..