~M

I will call these my ~M fantasies – m for mmm as well as in homage to a mentor and guide.

~M has been the inspiration for my blog and my journey to find out who I am; the first person to point out that the records of my fantasies had value.
As well as that she has an uncanny quality –her email address appearing in my inbox triggers a vaginal spasm and I’m wet before I have even read the message. Even writing about reading her messages is getting me wet now..aaaarrgh…

So, many of my fantasies have been based on how I imagine it would be like to be controlled, seduced, persuaded, watched – by ~M. I’m a generous person so I have other people playing parts – but there is a woman in all of them – exerting or guiding some form of control – in some cases saving me from myself.

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The Book Club

I have been invited to join the book club. It’s a coup as there are lots of people who like to be in that club….
~M is the founder member and is really the person who drives it. The club meets at a different person’s home each month, to read and reflect on chosen stories and pieces of literature. Well, that’s what I have been told.

I turn up at the appointed time to ~M’s house. It is spacious and, although I know she has children, her sitting room is a haven of restfulness – large sofas surround an oak chest that acts as a low table. She has flowers arranged in vases – the design look is country chintz – floral linens and good quality natural fibre fabrics in creams, pale pinks and greens and lavender shades. There are double doors and windows running the width of the room that look out on to a large lawn that runs down to the shoreline. This evening the doors are propped open and a gentle breeze wafts through the room.

The club usually has eight or nine members that attend but tonight is my induction so ~M has only invited Carol to help her assess whether I would be an asset to the club. I love reading and I admire ~M so it seems an ideal thing to try for.

We sit down, ~M and Carol on one sofa and me facing them on another.
The sofas have high back so our shoulders are about level with the top of the cushions.

~M explains how the evening is organised, we have readings and reflection and then refreshments. She also mentions that the host chooses the story.
She says,
“We are branching out a little now and have decided to be quite risqué – so I have downloaded a short story from Literotica – it has three sections and each of us will read one section. Then we will each deliver a personal reflection on it. As I am the host I also get to do a critique on everyone’s reflection – this is also so we can learn how to express ourselves – and that is one of the objectives of the club. On the basis of how you perform tonight Carol and I will decide if you can join the club.”
She gets up to fetch the papers and as she comes back along the sofa she runs her fingers along Carol’s shoulder.

She hands out the sections of the story and we settle back. Carol starts… it is a story about a woman who is seduced into her first lesbian experience at a party.
Carol reads fluently and well. She pauses for effect and that increases the impact of the story. At the end of her section ~M asks her to comment on the quality of the writing and how it has made her feel. As she does this she brushes a lock of Carol’s hair off her face.
On the face of it these two actions – fingers on the shoulders and hair brushing are not overtly sexual but they hint at an intimacy that I would love to be a part of. Both have a profound effect on me.

Carol talks about the way the story is constructed, how the suspense builds and the techniques the author uses to build the tension. Then ~M asks her, “But what did it make you feel?”
Carol replies, “Well, it did make my nipples swell a bit and my pussy is tingling.”
It seems as though ~M is not really happy with Carol’s second response. She says, “You haven’t set a very good example for Collette to follow, you know.” She taps Carol’s knee with the flat of her hand.

Carol mutters something about it not being her kind of story. ~M replies, “Well you’ll have your choice next time and we’ll expect a better response from you.”

This worries me a little, but at least I know what level isn’t acceptable.
It is my turn to read and I think I do a fair job. It is a very hot story as far as I’m concerned, the images are very vivid and I’m aware of the effect it is having on me.

So time for reflection. I take a deep breath and go through the literary conventions the author uses to differentiate between the characters, how she makes the dialogue come alive and how she builds the sexual tension.

Then I say, “And how did it make me feel?”
It was as though a button had been pressed…..
I describe my arousal – “It really turned me on; I’m really wet now; my clit is swollen, my vagina is beginning to spasm; I’m beginning to get little shudders; my nipples are fully erect; my breasts are aching.”

~M and Carol have exchanged glances while I have been babbling on, I’m concerned that I have gone too far.

“That’s good, Collette,” ~M says.
Then she continues, “But I sense you are looking for something else, what do you want from this?”

I’m so relieved that she hasn’t disapproved of my reflection that I don’t even think about my reply – I blurt out,
“I want to be Alison in the story;
I want to be seduced;
I so want to be part of this club;
I want you to stroke me like you do Carol….

And then I stop, horrified at what I have just blurted out.

~M smiles, enigmatically.

She extends her arms and says, “Come here.”

I’m shaking so hard that I can hardly stand up. I’m so relived that I have not been rejected; I have a massive spasm because I am so aroused; I move around the table still shuddering. I stand in front of her and she gestures for me to lift my skirt.

“Show us just how excited you are,“ she says.

I do as instructed. I lift my skirt to reveal a white lacy thong that is soaked with my juice.

~M says, “We can’t see how swollen you are, take off your knickers.”

I push my thong down to my ankles and step out of it, I put the soaked thong on the table, and then I pull my skirt up again.

~M leans towards me and blows gently on my clit that is peeping out from between my labia as it is so engorged……

At that point in the story I have a massive orgasm and squirt onto the sheet ,
– that’s right I didn’t even get to the end of the fantasy before cumming.