I'm getting much closer to total humiliation... I long to be restrained to show that I have handed over 100% control to you.... so other people know that is what I have done and will look only to you for permission to use me.

The urge to beg, to plead, to please is becoming instinctive now...... it has the power to soak me whatever the scenario.

It seems each time I reach a plateau and think that is as far as I will go, another incident or happening pushes me even higher.......